Forgiveness. Not exactly a topic most of us are eager to dive into with our friends over coffee, right? Yet, the truth is, it’s something we all face in one way or another. For me, forgiveness hasn’t always been about a perfect resolution or hearing those words, “I’m sorry.” Sometimes it’s meant choosing to forgive, even when there’s no apology. And believe me, that’s not easy. But in my journey with Jesus and through diving into His Word, I’ve come to understand that forgiveness isn’t optional. It’s a part of the path we walk as believers, even if it’s uncomfortable.
This year, I had a few moments that stopped me in my tracks—moments where I realized there were still some hidden pains buried in my heart. They surprised me because I thought I’d already dealt with them. But I believe God brings these things to the surface when He knows we’re ready, so we can heal and move forward.
The other day, I was driving through the back roads of North Carolina when an old wound surfaced. My dad was an amazing man, a dedicated missionary, planting churches and living out his faith. And while I have some beautiful, funny memories of him—like how he’d pick up the phone with his dry humor, saying, “Hey, I thought we got rid of you a long time ago,” and then hanging up, only for me to call back laughing—I also felt the ache of his absence growing up. Ministry kept him busy, and I missed having him around in the ways I needed.
So here I am, on that drive, feeling this sting of, If you’d been there for me, Dad, maybe I wouldn’t have struggled with my insecurities so much growing up. The thoughts began to pile up, and as they did, I felt a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit—this loving reminder to pause. It was as if God was saying, “Hold up. Let’s take a deeper look at this.”
In that moment, I stopped myself. I shifted my perspective from frustration to compassion, realizing that my dad did the best he knew how. And as the tears started flowing, I found myself saying, “Dad, you did your best. It’s not your fault. You gave what you could, and I’m grateful.” That shift opened a door to healing I didn’t realize I needed.
This wasn’t the first time I had forgiven my dad, but I learned that sometimes forgiveness is layered. Just because we’ve forgiven once doesn’t mean the pain won’t resurface now and then. When it does, it’s an invitation to check our hearts again. For me, it was a chance to release that old ache and let God fill the empty spaces in my life, making me whole in a way only He can.
Here’s the thing about forgiveness: it’s less about the person who hurt us and more about freeing ourselves from bitterness and anger. It’s about allowing God to heal those hidden corners of our hearts, even when it’s painful. And sometimes that means forgiving again, choosing to let go of that old hurt, piece by piece, so that we can truly be whole.
So, if my story stirs something in you—if there’s a tucked-away pain that maybe needs a bit of God’s gentle touch—know that it’s okay. It’s okay to feel it, and it’s okay to forgive again. Sometimes healing comes in waves, and each time, God brings us closer to the person He created us to be. Isn’t He amazing?
If you’d like a deeper study on forgiveness, check out our latest mini-study at Unveiled Living, The Path Less Traveled: When Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Reconciliaton, by Carmen Chase - and our Fall Emag: Set Free | Absolution - The Healing Journey of Forgiveness
Thank you for such a powerful reminder of grace and forgiveness. We are all just trying to do our best with the information we have at the time.