The Stories That Define Us - Part 3: Removing the Veil We Hide Behind
Life has a funny way of taking us places we never expected.
One moment, I was a missionary kid, growing up in Spain, feeling completely at home in a culture that made sense to me. Then suddenly, I was tossed into America—a place that should have felt familiar but didn’t.
Adjusting wasn’t easy. I wrestled with insecurity, wondering where I fit in, feeling like an outsider in my own country. But little by little, life moved forward.
I found my footing.
I built new relationships.
I stepped into ministry, into marriage, into motherhood.
But no matter how much time passed, one thing remained true: I was still learning how to embrace my story.
Fast forward to 1998. I was now a young mom of two, leading worship, and—somehow—finding myself in rooms and on stages I never saw coming.
That’s when I got the invitation that would change everything.
I was invited to speak at a women’s retreat in a small country town just north of Stillwater, Oklahoma. At the time, I was living there with my (now ex) husband and two little ones (before I had my youngest).
Here’s the thing—I had never spoken in front of a group of women before.
Up to that point, I had been leading worship at large women’s conferences, which had opened doors I never expected. But standing up and speaking? That was a whole different ballgame.
The pastor’s wife had one request: Be funny.
Her church had been through a long, hard season, and the women needed to laugh. She told me, “You’re always laughing, so I figured you’d be the perfect person to bring some joy!”
Yes, I love to laugh. But being funny on demand? That’s a whole other skill set. I didn’t exactly have a binder full of one-liners. So, with a 2½-year-old and a 4½-year-old underfoot, I somehow pulled together two messages, prepped to lead worship, and prayed that I wouldn’t flop. True story!
The Joy of the Lord (and Almost Peeing Your Pants)
Friday night arrived. About 30 women had gathered for the retreat. I kicked things off leading worship, but as I wrapped up the last song, the panic hit me:
How do I just… suddenly be funny?
I took the awkward plunge and started sharing my message: The Joy of the Lord is Your Strength.
Somewhere in the middle, I ditched my notes and just went for it.
I told stories, leaned into the humor, and—somehow—turned into a full-blown stand-up comic. Women were howling with laughter. At one point, one lady literally lay down in the aisle because she was laughing so hard she almost wet her pants.
Another woman actually interrupted me mid-sentence:
"Wait! Stop! I have to go to the bathroom, and I don’t want to miss anything!"
It was a moment I’ll never forget.
Pulling Back the Curtain
But here’s the thing—I knew we couldn’t spend the entire night just laughing. I could feel God nudging me, telling me it was time to shift gears.
I took a deep breath, and a thought came to me: It’s time to remove the veil.
I looked out at the room, took a step forward, and said,
"I know it might seem like I have it all together. But let me take the veil off my face and show you what’s really going on."
And in that moment, I let them in.
I shared how, at the time, I didn’t have enough money to buy groceries or pay our electric bill because of back-to-back surgeries with no insurance. I told them about walking through Walmart with just $10, staring at other people’s full shopping carts while I hunted for the cheapest mac-and-cheese and hot dogs I could find. I knew it wasn’t going to stretch far enough.
So I prayed.
"God, I need You to move. Lay it on someone’s heart to bring us groceries."
I went home feeling defeated. But when I walked in the door, I stopped in my tracks.
Sitting on our dining room table were bags and bags of groceries.
Turns out, while I was at Walmart, someone from our church had been there too. They felt the nudge of God, loaded up their cart, and beat me home with $100 worth of groceries.
I broke down in tears.
And then?
For an entire year, that same family continued to bring us groceries.
As I finished telling the story, the laughter from earlier had turned to sniffles and quiet tears. The women in the room began removing their own veils—receiving hope for their struggles, their pain, their doubts. They were finally able to be real, knowing that no matter what season they were in, God was right there beside them.
Pain Finds You. What You Do with It Changes Everything.
Looking back, I can see how God has used every chapter of my story—both the joy and the pain—to shape me into the woman I am today.
Pain will find us. We can’t outrun it.
I lost my best friend when I was just four years old. I lost my grandfather at seven. Financial struggles, health battles, seasons of ministry ending, watching my children suffer, walking through a divorce I never thought I’d face or live through—it’s inevitable.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Pain will define you if you let it. But it can also refine you if you surrender it.
I know what it’s like to feel like a failure. I know what it’s like to walk into church as a former pastor’s wife, feeling like I had a giant D stamped on my forehead. I know what it’s like to wonder if I’d ever be able to shake the weight of my past. I know what it’s like feeling like I don’t belong.
But I also know that the only way to move forward is to stop looking back.
To embrace the story God is writing, instead of the one we thought we’d be living.
Freedom is Found in the Pain
Joy is found in the pain.
Strength is found in the pain.
Faith is found in the pain.
Healing is found in the pain.
And knowing who you really are? That’s found in the pain, too.
I no longer fear the painful seasons I’ve walked through. Because in the hardest, darkest moments of my story, I have found the strength of the Lord more resounding than ever, more reassuring than ever, and more determined than ever.
Your Story Isn’t Over
No matter what season you’re in, no matter what part of your story you’re living—you can and will get through this.
You will find beauty again.
You will find a life worth living again.
You will find joy again.
Don’t give up.
And know this: You’re not alone.
That’s why I started Unfiltered Faith and Unveiled Living.
To be a place where we can remove the veils, tell our stories, and walk this journey together.
Because of Jesus, you can do all things.
And the story He’s writing in your life?
It’s far from over.
Tracee Lee Padilla