Some of the greatest gifts the Lord’s ever given me are my children. And watching other parents love their kids? There’s something beautiful about that fierce, protective love that pours out of a mama and papa’s heart. We’d climb a mountain, or defend them with a school principal if we had to. A parent’s love runs deep.
But lately, more and more I’m noticing something—something subtle but concerning. A pattern that’s becoming more common. And it has me concerned about what we’re accidentally teaching our kids about what really matters.
Families missing church because of a school project that “has to be perfect.”
Parents who wouldn’t dream of letting their child miss school, but think nothing of skipping church “here and there.”
Kids who can name their favorite influencer, every stat, and every trend—but struggle to remember a single Bible verse.
And here’s what breaks my heart:
We’re raising a generation who thinks God should take a backseat to their comfort, their achievements, and their social life.
It’s not dramatic. It’s not obvious. In fact, it looks like really good parenting on the surface…
Not worship. Not idolizing. But a subtle shift.
Where love for our children starts to quietly reshape the foundation we’re standing on.
Not because parents mean to. Not because they stop loving God.
But because we’re parents—and sometimes pleasing our kids can become more important than pleasing the Lord.
Maybe it started small.
Skipping church because of a big test.
Missing Bible study because of a school event.
Choosing comfort over a family devotion because “they’re tired.”
Before we knew it, their schedule became our schedule.
Their happiness became our mission.
And their approval? Our validation.
And slowly, without even realizing it…
Their emotions start dictating ours.
Their comfort starts taking priority over God’s calling.
Their reactions shake our peace.
But the Lord gently reminds us of this truth:
Your children are a blessing—but they’re not your foundation.
They’re your assignment—but they’re not your identity.
Love them fully—but don’t build your life around them.
That place belongs to Me.
And here’s what matters just as much:
That’s what they need to see most in you.
Not a mom or dad who revolves around them—but one who is anchored in God.
Because when they see you build your life on Him, they learn how to build theirs the same way. And when everything else around them shifts—your faith won’t.
A Real-Life Warning: Eli’s Story
This isn’t a new problem. There’s a sobering story tucked into the Old Testament about a priest named Eli. He served in the house of God. He knew what was right. But somewhere along the line, he lost the ability—or maybe the courage—to lead his children with truth.
Eli had two sons who were also priests, but they were corrupt. Disrespecting God, misusing offerings, and dishonoring their calling. And Eli? He knew it was happening.
Eventually, God sent a warning and said:
“Why do you give your sons more honor than you give Me?”
(1 Samuel 2:29, NLT)
Whew. That one hits.
And here’s what landed like a brick:
Eli probably thought he was being a good dad by not rocking the boat.
Sound familiar?
He honored his sons above God—and honestly? We do the same thing…
When we prioritize their schedule over spiritual rhythms.
When we invest more in their comfort than their character.
When we’re more committed to their happiness than to their holiness.
Eli wasn’t bowing down to his sons, but he had stopped correcting them.
He let things slide. And that silence? It cost him—and them.
The most loving thing we can do for our kids (adult kids, included) isn’t to keep them happy at all costs—it’s to point them to what matters most. Jesus.
That means we don’t avoid hard truths just to keep the peace.
We lead with love, rooted in God’s Word—knowing that when they see us follow Him first, it gives them something solid to stand on.
When Our Kids Become Our Cause
Here’s what I see happening:
We’ve created a generation who believes God should adjust His plans around their preferences. That following Jesus is something we do when it doesn’t interfere with what they want. That their comfort, achievements, and social standing matter more than their relationship with the Lord.
We’ve taught them that God should be understanding when they’re “too tired” for church, too busy for prayer, too stressed for gratitude. That He should wait while they chase what makes them happy, successful, or seen.
And if we’re honest?
They’re just following what we’ve modeled.
What God’s Word Says About It
📖 Matthew 7:24 (NLT) — “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.”
Your kids (including your adult children) aren’t the rock. Jesus is. Build on Him, and you’ll stand—even in parenting storms.
📖 Deuteronomy 6:5–7 — “Love the Lord your God with all your heart… Repeat His commands again and again to your children.”
Notice the order. Love Him first—then lead them. Our faith flows downward.
📖 Psalm 127:3 — “Children are a gift from the Lord…”
A gift to cherish—not a foundation to build your life around.
📖 Matthew 10:37 — “If you love your son or daughter more than Me, you are not worthy of being mine.”
This isn’t about loving them less. It’s about loving them from the right place.
When we build our identity around their success, we’re putting pressure on them to be our god. And kids weren’t meant to carry that weight.
Real Talk Questions to Reflect On
Do my kids see me get more excited about their game than about gathering with God’s people?
Have I taught them that church is something we do “when we can” instead of something we prioritize?
Would a stranger looking at our calendar think Jesus or sports runs our household?
When my teenager rolls their eyes at devotions, do I skip them to keep peace?
Have I made excuses for spiritual drift instead of calling us back to center?
Am I more influenced by their emotions than I am by God’s truth?
Have I delayed obedience to God because their schedule didn’t line up?
A Brave Parent Declaration
If this hits close to home, here is declaration:
I love my children deeply, but my identity is rooted in Christ.
They are part of my calling—not the center of my existence.
I will love them well, lead them with grace, and trust God to be what I never can.My foundation is Jesus. And everything flows from there.
Because Here’s the Thing…
Here’s the plot twist nobody tells you:
The very thing we think will make us good parents—centering our world around our kids—can keep us from being the parents they really need.
Your kids don’t need a perfect mom or dad.
They need a faithful one.
One who doesn’t just talk about God—but builds life around Him.
They don’t need you to have all the answers.
They just need to see who you run to when you don’t.
So keep loving them fiercely.
Tucking them in.
Saying the hard things.
Laughing when the day’s been long.
Praying over their pillows.
And when they catch you worshipping Jesus instead of wrapping your identity around their every move?
That’s the kind of legacy they’ll never forget.
A Quick Word in Closing:
If you’re a parent raising a child with autism, special needs, or extra layers of care that require deeper support—please hear this with grace. Your journey is sacred. This isn’t a blanket message for every situation.
But even in those stretched-thin, beautifully complicated seasons—putting God first is still the anchor. Not out of pressure—but because He’s the One who equips us to keep showing up.
No matter the season—Jesus will always be the center that holds.
What very important and essential wisdom. Our kids are beyond most of this, but I have to remember to guide our adult children to the Lord!!