“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23 NIV
This week’s Holy Habits is adapted from my devotional, “The Death of Me,” featured in Called for More, Edition Three of The Purpose Collection from Unveiled Living.
As I sit with these words from Jesus, I feel their weight: “Deny yourself. Take up your cross daily. Follow Me.”
As I journey through this beautiful life that God has given me, I have made a greater realization in my life of what a Called for More life is supposed to look like, which, in all honesty, is not at all what many of us have believed it to be.
It is the weighty, yet, powerful revelation that the called for more life is not measured by what we can gain, but actually by what we are willing to lose.
The world has taught us that we are the center of the story.
If there were an Oscar handed out for the story of our lives, we would naturally assume it belongs to us as the leading character.
But when I begin flipping through the life-changing pages of God’s Word, I see a completely different story.
If we want to ‘get real’ here and pull back the curtain, here’s the truth:
We were never meant to be the main character of our story. We were actually
created to live as part of God’s story, with Him having the
leading role in our life.
The words of Jesus in Luke 9:23, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me,” are not easy words to read, and they are certainly not easy words to live by. But, they are the words we desperately need to listen to.
It is not hard to admit that denying ourselves may be one of the most difficult parts of following Christ. And the reason why is because we are selfish. (I know, that hurts me too! Ouch!)
We want things done our way, in our timing, based on what we feel we need, desire, or deserve. And yet Jesus tells us that following Him requires us to deny ourselves and take up our cross every single day.
That means the very things we are gripping may be the very things we are being asked to lay down.
My Story
It takes me back to when I was a teenager.
Everyone knew me as a singer and songwriter. I played the piano for no less than four hours a day and was constantly writing new songs. Honestly, you could not have pried my fingers away from that piano.
So naturally, I had already decided what my future would look like. I was going to become the next Amy Grant in the contemporary Christian music world. I could see myself traveling across the United States on tour buses, singing my Jesus songs to audiences far and wide.
It was a beautiful dream. It just wasn’t the story God was writing.
The deeper I went in my walk with Him, the doors that began opening were not concert-hall doors. They were church doors.
Doors to lead worship.
And while worship leading came naturally to me, it was not what I wanted to do. I wanted to sing the songs I had written. I wanted to travel. I wanted the life I had pictured so clearly in my mind. I’m seeing a lot of “I’” there, right?
Yet opportunity after opportunity to lead worship kept coming my way.
After about six years of this, I found myself sitting on my bed in Ireland. It was 2001, and I was serving there as a missionary. I was thanking the Lord for everything He was doing in my life, but there was still one frustrated question sitting beneath all that gratitude.
“Lord, why do these worship opportunities keep coming my way when I never wanted to be a worship leader?”
His answer was simple, but it reached straight into the center of me with conviction.
“Tracee, it was never about what you wanted. It was about obeying what I have for your life. That is what I want.”
Obedience.
That was the invitation. Not to force God’s purpose to fit the picture I had created, but to find His footsteps and begin walking in rhythm with what He had wanted for my life all along.
And sometimes, that is what surrender looks like. It is releasing the life you imagined so you can receive the life God has actually authored for you.
It may not look exactly the way you thought it would. Mine certainly did not. But after more than twenty-five years of leading worship, I can honestly say that what God chose for me has been far more beautiful than anything I could have attempted to build on my own.
I wonder how much I would have missed had I continued insisting on my way.
The doors God opened did not lead me toward the dream I had planned as a teenager. They led me into His purpose. And although surrender felt like letting go at the time, I can now see that obedience was never God taking my life away from me.
It was Him leading me into the life He knew I was purposed to live.
Greater Intimacy Lessens the Grip
Perhaps you are reading this and thinking, that sounds beautiful, but letting go of what I want is still really hard.
I understand that. Surrender does not always come easily, especially when we have carried a particular dream, plan, or picture of our future for a long time. But I have come to realize that when our grip remains tight, the answer is not simply trying harder to let go. Often, it is an invitation to draw closer to Jesus.
Psalm 91:1 says:
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”
There is a difference between visiting the presence of God and learning to dwell there.
Now, let me add an important caveat here.
When Jesus called Peter, Andrew, James, and John to leave their nets and follow Him, they did not yet know Him with the depth they eventually would. They did not understand everything about His nature, His mission, or what their obedience would cost. Yet they responded to His invitation and began walking with Him.
Sometimes obedience comes before intimacy.
Sometimes the first step is simply trusting the voice of Jesus enough to follow, even when we do not yet understand where He is leading.
But intimacy is what strengthens us to keep following.
The disciples’ first yes caused them to leave their nets, but it was walking with Jesus, listening to Him, watching Him, and learning His heart that prepared them for the deeper surrender that would come later.
We may begin following Jesus before we know Him deeply, but we will struggle to continually deny ourselves if we choose to know Him only casually.
The first yes may come through simple faith. The daily yes grows stronger through intimacy.
As we dwell in His presence, we begin to see His magnificence, His holiness, His mercy, His faithfulness, and His worth. And the beautiful reality is that the more clearly we see Him, the less tightly we cling to the things we once thought we had to have.
God is calling us to lay down the smaller life we would write for ourselves so we can follow Him into the abundant life He has authored.
Jesus said:
“I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.”
John 10:10 CSB
The life He offers is not less than because it requires surrender. It’s actually greater than anything we could ever imagine because it is aligned with the One who created us.
I read a quote recently from Allen Bond that says this brilliantly:
The bigger I grow in God, the smaller I become.
Do you see the beautiful exchange?
The more rightly we know Him, the more deeply we revere Him. And the more deeply we revere Him, the more willing we become to place our whole lives in His hands and that is the life that leads to His abundant life that He so beautifully gives us.
The Called For More Life
The Called for More life is not about gaining more for ourselves, having a larger platform, receiving a greater assignment, or stepping into something the world would consider ‘bigger’.
Being called for more actually means becoming willing to live with less of ourselves at the center and trusting that what God has authored is greater than the life we would have written on our own.
The life we were made for is found on the other side of the life we are willing to lay down. And my friend, it’s beautiful on the other side.
Additional Scripture to Sit With This Week
Romans 12:1–2
Consider what it means to offer your everyday life to God as an act of worship.
Galatians 2:20
Sit with Paul’s declaration that his former life has been crucified and Christ now lives through him.
John 12:24–26
Notice how Jesus connects surrender with the bearing of lasting fruit.
Philippians 2:5–8
Look closely at the humility of Jesus and His willingness to walk in obedience to the Father.
Psalm 91:1–2
Ask yourself whether you have been visiting God’s presence or learning to dwell there.
Holy Habit Reflection Questions
The Altar of Surrender
“Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”
Romans 12:1 NIV
What am I still gripping?
Name the desire, plan, identity, relationship, outcome, timeline, or version of your life that you have struggled to place fully in God’s hands.
What has been sitting at the center?
Complete this sentence honestly:
I have been building too much of my life around ________________________________.
What would surrender look like here?
Not what it sounds like.
Not what you wish it looked like.
What would it actually require?
Holy Habit Practice
A Living-Sacrifice Prayer
Set aside a few quiet minutes this week and slowly pray:
Lord, I do not want to keep asking You
to bless the life I am determined to control.
I want to belong fully to You.
Show me where I have made myself the center,
where I have resisted Your authority,
and where I have held too tightly
to the story I wanted.
Teach me to revere You more deeply
than I cling to my own desires.
I place my plans, my future,
my relationships, my calling,
and my whole life before You.
Let surrender become worship.
Let Your will become greater than mine.
And let more of Jesus be seen
where less of me once stood.
Amen.
Remain still for a few moments after you pray. Do not rush to pick back up what you just placed before Him. Let surrender become more than a prayer you offer. Let it become the posture in which you live.
From the Unveiled Living Devotional Collection
This week’s Holy Habits was adapted from “The Death of Me,” featured in Called for More, Edition Three of The Purpose Collection.
Called for More is a beautifully designed, 140-page devotional filled with Scripture, personal stories from our amazing writing team, thoughtful reflections, prayers, and opportunities to respond to what God is speaking. Throughout its pages, you will be reminded that the life God is calling you into is not built by placing yourself at the center. It is discovered as you trust His preparation, respond with courageous faith, and continually place your life back into His hands.
The digital devotional is available to read for free, with printed copies also available as part of the Unveiled Living Devotional Collection.
